The “Ghostlighting” Dating Trend
A concerning new dating behavior called “Ghostlighting” is emerging in online relationship culture. The term blends ghosting, which means cutting off contact without explanation, with gaslighting, which means manipulating someone into doubting their own perception of reality. In ghostlighting, a partner suddenly disappears from communication, only to later return and deny any wrongdoing, often suggesting the other person misunderstood or overreacted.
Experts warn that ghostlighting can be emotionally damaging, leaving individuals confused, anxious, and questioning their own memory or judgment. This tactic can erode self-esteem, create distrust in future relationships, and in some cases be part of a broader pattern of emotional manipulation.
The trend is reportedly being amplified by dating apps and social media. Disappearing and reappearing in someone’s life can be done with minimal effort and little accountability in these digital spaces. The casual nature of online connections makes it easier for ghostlighters to avoid confrontation while still keeping someone emotionally tethered.
How Teens Can Be Influenced?
Teens who are new to dating, particularly in the fast-paced and always-connected world of messaging apps and social media, may be especially vulnerable to ghostlighting. Many are still developing the emotional resilience, communication skills, and self-worth needed to navigate relationships. Experiencing ghostlighting at a young age can:
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Normalize unhealthy relationship patterns and lower expectations for respect and clear communication.
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Distort self-image by making teens doubt their instincts and judgment when told they overreacted.
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Create emotional dependency, as the unpredictable cycle of disappearance and return fuels a craving for the ghostlighter’s validation.
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Increase social stress, since online platforms can make these dynamics public, which may lead to embarrassment or peer pressure.
For impressionable teens, the mix of romantic interest, online visibility, and emotional manipulation can create a lasting impact on how they view trust, boundaries, and self-worth in future relationships.
Protecting Against Ghostlighting
At PureSight, we use advanced AI tools to detect manipulative text and recognize ghostlighting behaviors in real time. We track activity across social media, messaging apps, and gaming platforms, identifying new and disturbing trends as they emerge.
When signs of toxic behavior appear—such as sudden disappearance followed by denial or blame-shifting—we send timely alerts to parents. This allows families to step in, support their teen, and address the issue before it escalates.
By combining early detection with practical guidance, PureSight helps parents safeguard their children’s emotional well-being and teach them what healthy relationships should look like, both online and offline.
David Gil,
Research team lead at PureSight